


If You Get Lost, You Can Always Be Found

by leo_draconis



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-15
Updated: 2013-06-15
Packaged: 2017-12-15 00:51:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,597
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/843388
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/leo_draconis/pseuds/leo_draconis
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Harry and Draco being seeing one another after the war, Draco quickly falls for his new lover... but Harry makes it clear that he wants no real commitment, nor does he want a spouse or family at that point in his life.  Draco tells himself he is content with that... until he discovers he is pregnant.  For the sake of the child he fears Harry won't want, he sells his home and moves away without a word, determined that Harry will never know.  That is, until his son falls ill, and needs both of his parents to recover.</p>
            </blockquote>





	If You Get Lost, You Can Always Be Found

**Author's Note:**

> Author/Artist LJ Name: leo_draconis  
> Prompter: drarryxlover  
> Prompt Number: 41  
> Title: If You Get Lost, You Can Always Be Found  
> Pairing(s): Harry/Draco, Ron/Hermione (mentioned)  
> Summary: When Harry and Draco being seeing one another after the war, Draco quickly falls for his new lover... but Harry makes it clear that he wants no real commitment, nor does he want a spouse or family at that point in his life. Draco tells himself he is content with that... until he discovers he is pregnant. For the sake of the child he fears Harry won't want, he sells his home and moves away without a word, determined that Harry will never know. That is, until his son falls ill, and needs both of his parents to recover.  
> Rating: NC-17  
> Disclaimer: All Harry Potter characters herein are the property of J.K. Rowling and Bloomsbury/Scholastic. No copyright infringement is intended.  
> Warning(s): Non-linear timelines.  
> Epilogue compliant? Hell to the no.  
> Word Count: ~12,500  
> Author's Notes: First, thank you so much to the mods for the extra time - you're the best, as always. Second, thank you to the prompter for the idea - it took shape in my mind the moment I read it. I stuck as close as I could, though it does not entirely take place in England - partially yes, partially no. I hope you enjoy what I came up with. Finally, the title and lyrics at the end are borrowed from "Home" by Phillip Phillips. Happy smooching!

Death was a funny thing.  Not funny “ha-ha” so much as sadistic and unexpected… whether it happens suddenly or announces itself early and then takes its sweet time claiming its prize, sometimes making its victims go so far as to beg for it,  death is not to be taken lightly.

 

It’s a pity, Draco thought, that Lucius Malfoy hadn’t realized that philosophy until it was too late.

 

The Manor had never felt so huge, so empty.  Upon the death of Lucius and Narcissa Malfoy, the Ministry had seized a large portion of the Malfoy assets in lieu of the privilege of sending Lucius, and perhaps Narcissa, to Azkaban.  Their house elves were freed and Draco didn’t have enough money for the upkeep of his ancestral home for long, meaning he would need to find employment. 

 

 _Employment_.  The very word left a sour taste in his mouth.

 

It was of no matter, though, because it was the only home he’d ever known.  It contained the only bedroom where his mother had tucked him in at night for so many years, and the only corridors where his father had chased him and caught him up, tickling him and tossing him in the air to the tune of delighted squeals and laughter.  Back in the “good” years, when Lucius didn’t need to bow to anyone and had occasionally allowed himself to be just a man, just a father.  Just the light of Draco’s existence. 

 

There was no way to put a price on everything he’d lost.  Not when he was terrified that he was beginning to forget the exact blue of his mother’s eyes, or the way his father’s eyes crinkled at the corners when he smiled one of the smiles that had become so rare over the recent years.  Sometimes, when he stood in the dining room and closed his eyes he could still hear his mother’s tinkling laugh, and that was enough. 

 

So, he would find a job – clerk in a potions shop, perhaps, and then he could prove he was useful with a cauldron and do a bit of brewing himself.  He was not as fond of potions as Severus would have preferred, but he was good at it and it could be a lucrative career. 

 

Draco was sitting in the front room, musing on his job prospects, when the knock sounded at the door.  He sat frozen for a moment, wondering who could possibly be calling.  He had _no one._   And if it was the Aurors again…

 

He marched to the door, telling himself he would _not_ be intimidated – he’d done nothing wrong, after all – and took a breath before throwing it open.  “How may – Potter?”

 

Harry Potter, looking every bit as rumpled and unkempt as he always had, stood with his hands stuffed into the pockets of his denims.  “Er… hey, Malfoy.  Is this a bad time?”

 

Draco frowned.  “Well, the civilized thing to do would be to owl first, but I suppose you wouldn’t know that, being… uncivilized.”

 

Potter rolled his eyes.  “So sorry to intrude.  I’ll just give you this and go.”  He pulled a familiar wand from his back pocket and thrust it at Draco.

 

Draco took a step back.  “That’s…”

 

“Yours, yes.” Harry lifted a shoulder.  “I mean… I guess I thought you’d like it back.  It helped me, so thank you.”

 

“My wand.” Draco studied it in wonder.  “I really didn’t think I’d ever see this again.”

 

“Right, well… that’s why I stopped by.  So I’ll just… go.”

 

“But… wait.” Draco swallowed.  “Look, I don’t have much of anything here anymore, but I can probably manage a cup of tea.”

 

Potter raised one thick eyebrow.  “Are you sure?”

 

“Of course I’m sure,” Draco snapped.  He paused and took a breath.  “I think we’ve probably spent enough time feuding, don’t you?  Not much point in childish rivalries anymore.”

 

“No, you’re right.”  Potter stuck out a hand.  “Friends, then?  Or something.”

 

“Or something,” Draco repeated dryly, taking Harry’s hand and shaking it.

 

“This is, er, a nice place you have,” Potter offered as he followed Draco through the rooms.

 

“Let’s not bother pretending that you don’t have unpleasant memories of the place,” Draco replied. 

 

“You would as well,” Potter acknowledged, looking as though the thought had just occurred to him for the first time.  It probably had.

 

“Yes.  But I have good ones as well, and those are the ones that matter.  Even in this room.”  Draco

threw Potter a small smile and ushered him into the kitchen.  “When I was very young, Mum would pretend she didn’t notice me visiting the elves in here.  Dobby used to sneak me extra biscuits.  I believe you know him?” he smirked.

 

Potter’s eyes dimmed.  “Knew him.  He died, protecting me when we escaped from here.”

 

Draco’s face fell.  “Oh… I’m sorry to hear it.  He was a complete nutter, that one, but he had a good soul.”

 

“Soul?”

 

“Yes, Potter, he was a living being.  You don’t believe house elves have souls?”

 

“I do.  I’m just… never mind.”

 

“You’re surprised I do.”  Draco slid a cup toward Potter and motioned to the milk and sugar.  “No idea how you take yours.  I won’t bother to be offended, because you really don’t know me at all.  And what I’ve shown you hasn’t been too attractive, I suppose.”

 

“You’ve changed.”

 

“You haven’t.”

 

Potter’s jaw tensed.  “You’ve no _idea_ how much I’ve changed, because you never knew me, either.”

 

“No, I suppose not.  You hated the limelight.  You were fiercely loyal to your friends.  You were too damn self-sacrificing for your own good.  You were the darling of the wizarding world, destined to defeat the Dark Lord, marry Gingerina, and become an Auror.”

 

“That’s… relatively accurate.” Potter sipped his tea.  “Gingerina… that’s a new one.”

 

“I try,” Draco preened.  “So you see?  You’ve not changed so much.  Difference is, I didn’t always know you.  But I do now, a little bit.  And I guess you aren’t so bad.  Especially in light of your testimony on my behalf.”

 

Potter shrugged and looked away.  “You still lost a lot.”

 

“I lost a lot before they took my money.”

 

“Yeah.”

 

“And you did keep me out of Azkaban.”

 

“Yeah.”

 

“They were determined to see me punished somehow.”

 

“I suppose so.”

 

Draco narrowed his eyes.  “Potter, am I actually consoling _you_ over this?”

 

Potter snorted.  “I think so.  Sorry.”

 

“You’re really something.  And I don’t mean that in a completely complimentary manner.”

 

“So only partially complimentary?”

 

“Shut it.”

 

They sipped their tea in silence for a moment before Potter cleared his throat.  “You were right about what the world expects of me, but I’m not doing it.”

 

“What?”

 

“The… all of it.  I’m not marrying Ginny.  We never got back together after the war.  And I’m not going to be an Auror.”

 

“Potter.”  Draco placed his cup on its saucer.  “I truly don’t care.”

 

“Well, at least some things never change.”

 

“I’m nothing if not reliable.”  Draco tilted his head and sighed.  “So… why not, then?”

 

“Why not?”

 

“Yes, why not?  Why aren’t you an Auror?  Why aren’t you officially inducting yourself into the Weasley family and starting your own freckled brood?”

 

“I don’t want to be an Auror anymore.” Potter lifted a shoulder.  “Saw enough fighting, and I’m just… tired.”

 

“Understandable.  I didn’t think they’d let you walk away so easily, though.  The Ministry.”

 

“They weren’t happy.  Not a lot they can say though, is there?” Potter laughed humorlessly.

 

“I suppose not.”

 

“And Ginny… we’re better as friends.  Things seemed okay until the war really got going, and I left her behind so she’d be safe.  In the end, I didn’t really miss her as much as you’d expect.  And when it was over… it was just all over, you know?”

 

“Yeah, I guess.  Out of curiosity, why are you confiding in me?”

 

“I really don’t know.  You’re here?”

 

“Flattering.”

 

“Not many people are.  They’re all moving on, and pairing off, and it’s different and strange.  And I guess I feel like I can’t tell anyone about my problems because in the face of everything else, they aren’t even problems, are they?  They all lost family and loved ones.  Hell, I lost people close to me, too.  And you… you lost your parents.  Fuck, Draco, I’m sorry for babbling on like an idiot.”

 

Draco blinked at the sound of his given name.  “Don’t concern yourself with it.  I’m used to you being an idiot.”

 

Harry snorted.  “Thanks.”

 

“It’s… nice.  Having the company.  It’s quiet around here these days.”

 

“Do you not see anyone?”

 

“My remaining friends, term used loosely, have scattered like leaves in the wind.  No parents, no house elves, no boyfriend.  So, yes, it’s quiet.”

 

“No boyfriend?”

 

“No, Potter.  Hard to meet someone when you’re me lately.”

 

“You… I just didn’t know you were, you know.”

 

“Gay?”

 

“Well, yeah.”

 

“Your virtue is safe, Potter.  We’re not all raving nymphomaniacs, you know.”

 

“I know!  I’m… I mean, I’ve…” Potter chewed on his lower lip.  “I just didn’t know you were.  Too.”

 

“Potter.”  Draco crossed his arms.  “Are you gay?”

 

“Yeah, I think.  It’s really part of the whole Ginny issue.  I haven’t had much time to think about sex over the years, and my minimal attempts at dating have been terrible.”

 

“That’s definitely true.”

 

“I sort of realized that it’s not just girls I thought about… and then less and less until it was almost never a girl I pictured when I was, er, thinking about things.”

 

“Have you tried it, then?  With a bloke?”

 

“No.” Harry slid from his seat and stood, looking awkward as ever.  “Look, I… I’m sorry.  I just wanted to return your wand, and I’ve done nothing but moan about my pathetic issues.”

 

“Funny, that.”  Draco stood.  “For most people our age, career indecision and sexuality revelations are actually somewhat serious.  But since you just finished fighting a bloody war, you aren’t allowed to have any ‘normal’ teenaged concerns.  Give it up, Potter.  You have some shite to figure out, so own that.”

 

“Can I kiss you?” Harry blurted.

 

Draco’s eyebrows shot upward.  “Can you what now?”

 

“It’s just…”

 

“I’m the only gay man you know, right?  Thought I’d be a good experiment?”

 

“No!  You’re…” Harry exhaled.  “Because you’re… you’re gay, yeah, so at least you wouldn’t punch me for trying.  Or at least you wouldn’t punch me for that reason.”

 

Draco snorted.

 

“Mostly because you’re… you’re bloody hot.” Harry’s cheeks reddened.  “And you smell nice, and you made me tea and listened to me talk and I think I’ve wanted to kiss you for years, on some level.  Never mind.  Sorry.”

 

“Kiss me, then.”

 

“What?”

 

“Kiss me,” Draco whispered. 

 

Potter stepped forward and stared at him, mouth slightly ajar.  “Draco.”

 

“I’m right here.” 

 

He scarcely registered Potter leaning forward until their lips were touching, barely, and he closed his eyes.  Potter’s lips brushed his again and Draco parted them, touching Potter with the tip of his tongue.

That was all it took for Potter to moan and press him against the counter.  They clutched at each other, kissing with something that bordered desperation, and Draco widened his legs so that Harry could crowd closer and press their erections together.  Draco finally broke the kiss, resting his forehead against Harry’s as he tried to catch his breath. 

 

“Harry,” he rasped.

 

Potter moaned and nuzzled Draco’s neck.  “Draco…”

 

“I want you inside me, and I don’t want you to fuck me bent over this counter.  Not the first time, at least.”  He sucked in a breath when he felt Harry’s cock jerk against his.

 

“What should…” Potter began, but was unable to finish when Draco cupped his groin and squeezed.

 

“My bedroom.”

 

**XoXoXoX**

 

“Dailen, love, breakfast is ready!”  Draco snapped the lid on his son’s cup and placed it on the butcher block table beside the colorful Sal the Silly Sorcerer plate that had been pronounced the only one acceptable for use that week.

 

“Daddy, I can’t snap my trousers.”  Dailen appeared in the doorway, his blond hair sticking up at every angle and his lip quivering.  “My fingers won’t work.”

 

“I think your fingers work just fine.”  Draco knelt before him and fastened the offending snap, then touched the pouting lip gently with a knuckle.  “Put this away, now – all is well, yes?”

 

“Yes, Daddy.”

 

“Ready for breakfast?”

 

“Is it oatmeal again?”

 

“With apples.  Come on and hop up.”

 

Dailen complied, yawning.  “I’m tired.”

 

“Me, too.” 

 

“Can’t we have a lie-in today?”

 

Draco chuckled and deposited a napkin onto his son’s lap.  “Bit late for that, seeing as how we’re up and dressed.  And it’s school today.”

 

“I hate school!”

 

“We don’t ‘hate’ anything, Dailen.  And you do not – you adore your teacher and all your friends.”

 

The lower lip made another appearance.  “Do not.”

 

“Do, too.  Eat up, sweet – you’ll need your energy for the slide, won’t you?”

 

“No.  Don’t wanna slide.”

 

Draco frowned.  Dailen had given him some grief in the mornings lately – always tired and reluctant to go to his preschool, but thoughts of the playground usually perked him up.  “I’m sorry you’re having a rough time of it this morning.  You still have to go, however, so please eat your breakfast.”

 

“It’s icky.”

 

“Dailen James Malfoy, I have had enough of your complaints this morning!  We are going to be late, and I will not send you off with an empty stomach, so eat your breakfast.”

 

Dailen burst into tears.

 

Draco closed his eyes and wondered why his child had suddenly developed his other father’s disdain for mornings.

 

**XoXoXoX**

 

“Go ‘way,” Harry mumbled.

 

Draco prodded his side.  “Wake up, bright eyes.  Your coffee awaits.”

 

“Don’t want it.  Want to sleep.”

 

“You’re such a beast in the morning,” Draco complained.

 

Harry raised his head enough to shoot him a bleary one-eyed glare.  “Not my fault you’re so annoyingly chipper every morning.”

 

“Of course I am.  I know that you’re going to give in and stay awake, and you’ll drink your coffee, and then you’ll fuck me.”

 

“Awfully sure of yourself there.”

 

“Potter, we’ve been doing this nearly every morning for three months.  You fucked me raw last night, and you’ll catch sight of this and won’t be able to resist.”  Draco rolled to his knees and presented his arse to Harry, complete with a close-up view of his reddened anus that even his myopic lover couldn’t miss.  Before he was able to speak again, his hips had been seized with rough hands and Harry’s stubbled jaw was buried between his buttocks.  Draco could only moan as his hole was thoroughly devoured.

 

Harry’s tongue disappeared all too soon, and was replaced moments later by his cock.  Draco gasped at the slight burn and tilted his pelvis for a better angle.  “You’re so bloody tight, even after last night,” Harry groaned.  “Your greedy little arse is just sucking me in.”

 

“Yes,” Draco managed.  He closed his eyes and reached for his own prick, stroking in time to Harry’s thrusts until he came.  Harry followed him over the edge moments later and they collapsed beside one another.

 

“Time for sleep,” Harry yawned.

 

“But I thought…” Draco huffed when a loud snore drowned out his words.  “Fine,” he muttered, moving to get up.  A strong arm reached out and pulled him close.  He sighed and curled up against Harry’s warm body.

_Maybe a lie-in wouldn’t be so bad after all._

 

**XoXoXoX**

 

“Daddy, can I go to bed?”

 

Draco looked up from his newspaper in surprise.  “Now?”

 

“I’m sleepy.” Dailen punctuated his statement with a yawn.

 

“You don’t want to play with your trains?”  Draco knelt beside his son.  It wasn’t usual for him to request to go to bed, especially right after dinner – usually bedtime included some bargaining, whining, and occasionally a few tears as the boy worked on testing his boundaries.

 

“No.  Just want to sleep.”

 

“Are you feeling all right?”

 

“I don’t know.  Tired.”  Dailen rested his head on Draco’s arm.

 

“All right, well, let’s get you in your pajamas, then.”  Draco stood, lifting Dailen as he went, and carried him upstairs.

 

With teeth brushed and pajamas in place, Draco curled up beside Dailen on his small bed.  “You’re sure you’re not ill?  Just tired?”

 

“I’m all right.”  Dailen yawned again.  “Love you, Daddy.”

 

“I love you, too.”  Draco kissed his son’s forehead. 

 

“Do you think my other daddy loves me?” Dailen murmured.

 

Draco swallowed.  He had mentioned the “other daddy” to Dailen when he’d asked why he didn’t have a mummy like the other children at school, and it still made him uncomfortable whenever Dailen brought up the topic.  “He… he lives far away.  But of course he loves you.  He just can’t be here.”

 

“If he loves me, why doesn’t he come and see me?”

 

“Oh, Dailen…”  Draco closed his eyes.   “It’s not… he…”  As he struggled to find the words, Dailen’s breathing slowed and he fell asleep.  “He can’t come and see you, when he doesn’t even know you exist,” Draco whispered.

 

**XoXoXoX**

 

“I was thinking perhaps we could go out to dinner tonight,” Draco suggested.

 

Harry patted Draco’s backside.  “Up on your knees.   You’re hungry?”

 

Draco complied, arse in the air.  “No, not at the moment, but I will be at dinnertime.”

 

“Let’s stay in and get takeout.”

 

“I’m tired of… oh…” Draco rested his head on his folded arms and enjoyed the air rushing over his furled opening as Harry parted his buttocks.  “We always get takeout.”

 

“I’m only interested in one meal at the moment.”  Harry licked a stripe up Draco’s perineum with the flat of his tongue. 

 

“Mmm.”

 

“Can’t get enough of this gorgeous arsehole.”  Harry placed a kiss on said hole and then began to nibble at the surrounding flesh.

 

“You do seem to spend a lot of time back there.”

 

“Your fault for having such a kissable, lickable, edible, and incredibly fuckable arse.”

 

“I can’t apologize when it draws in such enjoyable attention.”

 

“No apologies needed.”  Harry trailed his tongue across Draco’s entrance and then pushed inside.

 

Draco’s head became hazy as it always did when Harry focused his attention in the current manner.  It was somewhat amusing to Draco that Harry had turned into such a complete nymphomaniac in the nearly 6 months they’d been together.  Of course, ‘together’ was a rather relative term for the copious amount of sex they had.  Sex and takeout.   Draco would have preferred a real date from time to time, but as Harry couldn’t possibly be fucking anyone else due to the amount of time and enthusiasm spent in Draco’s bed, he supposed he couldn’t be choosy.

 

He loved the sex, after all, and even if they’d never said the words, he’d grown to love Harry as well.

 

Harry gripped his hips and spread his buttocks with his thumbs before shoving his cock up Draco’s arse in one fluid motion, and Draco arched his back and pressed back into the thrusts.  “More,” he managed.

 

“Touch yourself,” Harry rasped, scrabbling at Draco’s skin.  “Not going to last…”

 

Cock in hand and forearm holding his weight, Draco stroked himself furiously and spilled onto the sheets moments before Harry jerked and filled him.  He rolled to his side when Harry pulled out and reached for his hand.  “So, tonight then?”

 

“Hmm?  Oh… why don’t we get Chinese?  Or pizza.” 

 

“But…”  Draco sighed.  “I just thought we could maybe go to a proper restaurant.”

 

“But a proper restaurant might take offense if I strip you naked and fuck you over the table,” Harry teased.  “Or if I crawl under the table to blow you.  Or if I want to eat my dinner off your bare arse.”

 

Draco chuckled weakly.  “Right, I suppose they might frown on that.”

 

“But if you want to get outside before dinner, we can do that.”

 

“Really?” Draco sat up, smile blooming across his face. 

 

“Sure.  Let’s go flying on your pitch.”

 

“Oh.”  _So still nothing public, then_.  Draco stifled a sigh and forced his smile to stay in place.  “That would be lovely.

_He’s ashamed of me._

 

**XoXoXoX**

 

Draco huffed and deleted the paragraph he’d just spent the past hour writing and rewriting.  “Rubbish, all of it,” he muttered, standing to pace the kitchen.  The plot just wasn’t coming together on this one.  His first three novels had been so _easy_.  He hadn’t even known he wanted to write until he’d sat down one morning late in his pregnancy and found himself filling parchment after parchment with his thoughts and fears about his impending fatherhood.   It turned into his first book within a matter of weeks, and after Dailen’s birth he found himself an agent, learned how to use a computer – necessary for the book, but a bastard to figure out – and finished the manuscript.  Thanks to the astounding reception the book received, Draco was able to sell his next two easily and support himself and Dailen quite nicely even after the proceeds from the Manor’s sale began to dwindle.

 

He missed his childhood home desperately, but his son was worth any and every sacrifice.

 

As he was attempting to puzzle out the second chapter, his phone rang.  He jumped and then narrowed his eyes at the contraption he still truly hated.  He only ever received calls from his editor, and sparingly at that since she was well aware he preferred email for his correspondence.

 

“Hello?” he barked.

 

“Mr. Malfoy?”

 

“Yes?”

 

“This is Mrs. Murphy, Dailen’s teacher.”

 

Draco’s stomach clenched.  “Is he all right?”

 

“I’m not certain.  The school mediwitch is with him now.  He collapsed a few minutes ago.  He seems to be waking, but he’s groggy and confused.  We think he would be better off in hospital, where they can do more than we can here.  Our scans show that his magic is off, but we can’t determine why.”

 

“I’ll be right there.”  Draco dropped the phone, and took a moment to steady his breathing before Apparating.

 

It wouldn’t do to splinch himself when his son needed him in one piece.

 

**XoXoXoX**

 

Draco’s legs threatened to give out on him, and he sank into the armchair nearest to him.

 

 _Pregnant_.

 

He had done the spell forty-seven times, and it had come up positive each time.

 

And how the _fuck_ was he going to tell Harry?

 

He’d been feeling like shite for weeks and assumed it was a touch of the flu or something, but when it didn’t go away he begin to consult a few of the books in the library.  He wasn’t sure he could trust anyone at St. Mungo’s, and he reasoned he could brew any potion he needed.  He had been studying some of the rarer draughts in hopes he could sell them from his home, since it turned out no one wished to hire an alleged ex-Death Eater, especially one with the name Malfoy.  He’d been pawning anything he could find in the Manor in order to survive, but it wouldn’t last much longer.  Funny how the distaste he’d had for finding work a few months prior had turned into desperation.

 

And when the book on rare conditions had explained the symptoms of male pregnancy, listing every ailment Draco had been suffering, he tried to brush the idea off.  It was in the _rare conditions_ book, after all, and even though he vaguely remembered hearing about a great great uncle or something who had carried four children with his husband and even though the sire had to be a wizard with above average magical power, and who had more power than the great Harry Potter…

Thus began the frantic testing.  And it was positive forty-seven times, which made Draco want to throw up for entirely different reasons than he had every morning.  He could barely take care of himself, let alone a child.  But surely Harry wouldn’t abandon his own offspring…

 

Draco covered his face with his hands.  Harry’s actions made it clear that he was interested in fucking Draco and hiding out with him at the Manor, but very little else.  Still, he was an orphan himself, wasn’t he?   Wouldn’t he want a family of his own?

 

“Hey!”

 

Draco jumped a foot when Harry appeared beside him.  “H-Harry!”

 

“You all right?”  Harry shrugged out of his coat.  “I was calling for you and you didn’t answer.”

 

“Sorry.”

 

“Are you still feeling poorly?”

 

“I’m… all right.”

 

“Good, because I intend to make you feel far better than all right.”  Harry pulled Draco up and kissed him.  “But I have to talk to you.”

 

“Oh?” Draco swallowed.  “I need to talk to you as well.”

 

“Go on, then.”

 

Draco dropped back into his chair and Harry took a seat opposite him.  “What we’re doing… what is this?”

 

Harry frowned.  “Having a good time?”

 

“Well, yes, but… what else are you doing?  You’re here all the time, because your best friends are living on another continent, and you aren’t working.”

 

“Is this a bloody lecture?” Harry demanded.  “Because I don’t see you working, either.”

 

Draco winced.  To be fair, he hadn’t told Harry about his employment woes, but it would be nice if the man noticed anything other than Draco’s naked form without having it pointed out to him.  “It’s not a lecture.”

 

“Good, because I’m finally living life – really living it, you know?  I don’t want to be an Auror, and I have enough money for two lifetimes.  I don’t _have_ to work and I don’t want to until I figure out what I really want to do.”

 

Draco’s jaw twitched, but he remained silent.

 

“And yes, I spend a lot of time here, but if that’s a problem I can leave!”  Harry jumped to his feet.

 

“Sit, please,” Draco begged.  “I’m not trying to upset you, I just… I just wonder what I am to you.  Am I a way to pass the time since your mates are gone and you’re not working?”

 

“You’re… I don’t know, Draco!  You let me fuck you and I think I deserve a little bit of fun in bed after most of my teenage years were spent chasing a mad wizard instead of dating, don’t you?”

 

“You come here… because I let you fuck me,” Draco repeated softly.

 

“You know what I mean!  I like this, and I really, really like you, but I’m not looking for anything serious!  You give me that – a lover and someone to spend my time with, all in one.  I don’t want a husband or kids–“

 

“You don’t want a family?” Draco interrupted.

 

“Not now!  I’m not even twenty!  I just want to be free for awhile.  Fuck who I want, do what I want… you know, I thought I’d escaped this sort of conversation when I stopped dating women.  Look, I needed to tell you that I’m going to Australia for a few weeks to see Ron and Hermione.  If you want, I’ll owl you when I get back and if you want to, we can pick this thing back up.  Maybe we _have_ been seeing too much of each other.”

 

“But I didn’t say we were – Harry, that’s not –“

 

Harry grabbed his jacket.  “See you, Draco.”

 

Draco could only stare after him as he left.

 

**XoXoXoX**

 

“A magical leak?”  Draco stroked his sleeping son’s hair.  “How is that possible?”

 

“Unfortunately, no one is certain.”  Healer O’Malley shook his head.  “I’ve treated several cases, and it could be any number of factors, but the best we’ve been able to ascertain is that it has to do with the child’s magic beginning to manifest, particularly a child with considerable power.  I have to ask, is Dailen’s mother still with us?”

 

“No… that is to say, I carried Dailen myself.”

 

“Oh!”  Healer O’Malley’s eyebrows shot upward.  “Well, that could explain things a bit.  Even with the use of a fertility potion, the other father generally needs to have substantial magic.”

 

“There was no potion.  There’s some predisposition to male pregnancy in my family, which I recalled after my little surprise here was on the way.”

 

“That’s _very_ interesting.  As you know, your body used magic entirely to support Dailen during the pregnancy, which means he was exposed to far more of it than the average child.  With that and the obvious power of his parents, he’s likely to have a considerable magical core.  From what we’ve seen, when a child’s magic begins to manifest more rapidly than his body can contain it, instability in the core can form and a leak can result.  And it is dangerous, Mr. Malfoy.   The fix is relatively simple, but must be initiated quickly.  For that, I will need your help.”

 

“Anything,” Draco responded without hesitation.  “What do I need to do?”

 

“A magical transfusion in the form of a family bond.  It will have minimal effects on you – some fatigue for a few days as your magic replenishes, but nothing permanent.  The same for his other father.”

 

“His other… what?” Draco paled.

 

“It’s imperative that both parents are involved.”

 

“What if one of them is deceased or something?”

 

“Oh, I’m sorry, Mr. Malfoy… I didn’t realize.  In that case, we would do the best we could with the remaining parent.  And the family bond will recognize the death.  When both parents are living, though, the bond is best achieved with both parties present.”

 

Draco exhaled.  “His other father is alive.  We are just… estranged.”

 

“I understand.  But surely he will be willing to assist for the sake of his son’s health?”

 

“He’s never met Dailen.”  Draco’s head was beginning to throb.  “But it’s the only way?”

 

“It’s the best way.  We could try the transfer with you alone, but there’s a good chance that the bond would remain incomplete and the cracks in his magical core would either not heal completely, or would heal superficially and rupture again with his next magical burst.  And that would have dire consequences, I’m afraid.  The procedure is easy enough, but time is of the essence.”

 

Draco closed his eyes momentarily.  “All right.  Tell me what else I need to know, and I will bring him here.”

 

**XoXoXoX**

Draco groaned and huddled under the covers.  His morning sickness – hell, all day and night sickness – was worsening, and he couldn’t keep anything down.   He needed to find a Healer, but there was minimal hope of anyone who would even consent to treat him, given his family name, let alone finding anyone who would be discreet.

 

And with a child on the way, he had to find some money, and quickly.  Even with medical care, he would need potions and quality food, not to mention the millions of nappies and other supplies the baby would require.  There was, of course, the option of not having the baby, but the very thought made Draco far more ill than the pregnancy itself.

 

He wanted the child.  A part of himself, and a part of Harry.  Even if Harry didn’t want any part of it.

 

Even if Harry would never know.

 

With a sigh, Draco got out of bed and retrieved a quill and parchment.  Though it pained him to know that his home and its memories would never be passed on to his son or daughter, desperate times called for miserably desperate measures.

 

**XoXoXoX**

 

Draco studied the small house, hands in his pockets.  It had been easy enough to discover where Harry lived, but now that he had arrived, every prepared speech he’d thrown together flew from his head.  Only thoughts of his son, lying alone in hospital, propelled him forward.  Feeling the wards pulsing around the property as he approached, he rapped his knuckles on the door and stepped back.

 

For long minutes, there was only silence.  Draco began to fidget – he’d imagined all the possible receptions he could get, but he hadn’t imagined Harry not being home when he arrived.  He _had_ to be home.  Dailen needed him.

 

But what if Harry was out?  What if he was out with his lover, or husband?  What if he had a child now?  Perhaps without Draco, he’d met a partner who made him _want_ to settle down and start a family.  Maybe his partner would forbid him from entering a family bond with Draco and Dailen.  It wouldn’t be a marriage or anything of the sort, but surely after Harry bonded with them he would want to see his son again.  And what if he wanted to share custody?  What if he took legal action against Draco? 

 

So, perhaps not every scenario had crossed his mind. 

 

Just as he was about to turn away, Draco heard footsteps inside the house, and he took a deep breath as the door creaked open.  “Hello, Harry.”

 

**XoXoXoX**

 

“Is that…”  Draco covered his mouth with his hands.

 

“Yes.”  The mediwitch smiled at him.  “The heartbeat is good and strong, Mr. Malfoy.  Your wee one is in good health.”

 

“That’s…”  He took a deep breath and cursed his stupid hormones for making him weepy.  And then the mediwitch ended the spell and Draco desperately wanted to beg her to hear the beautiful sound again.

 

“I understand, love.  It’s emotional.  And in a few weeks, we’ll be able to find out who’s in there.”

 

“He’s a boy,” Draco said softly, caressing his barely protruding belly.  “I can feel it.”

 

“The mum, or da in your case, is usually right about those feelings.”  She patted his hand.  “Healer Malone will be in shortly to check you over, all right?”

 

“Thank you.” Draco closed his eyes and smiled, imagining again the sound of his child’s heartbeat.

 

**XoXoXoX**

 

Harry stared at him with bleary eyes, hair mussed and a shadow of a beard covering his chin.  “Draco?” he croaked.

 

“I’m sorry… were you asleep?”

 

“Working the night shift this week.  I felt the wards shift… what the hell are you doing here?”

 

Draco crossed his arms.  “I’m happy to see you, too.”

 

“Was I meant to have a party prepared for you?”  Harry’s eyes flashed.  “You left me, Draco, remember?  Not a word for years.  But yes, I’m so very pleased to hear from you.”

 

“Harry…”  Draco huffed.  “Look, I can’t fight with you.  I need your help.  Desperately.”

 

Harry studied him for a moment, then stepped aside.  “Fine.”

 

“Thank you.”  Draco entered the house and began to pace.  “There are things… things I didn’t tell you.”

 

“Really?  I remember you telling me how much you loved your bloody Manor, but as soon as I was out of the picture for a time you sold it and disappeared.  Have you finally come back to tell me _why_?”

 

“Yes.”

 

Harry’s mouth snapped shut.  “Well… good.”

 

“I have a son, Harry.”

 

“You… what?”

 

“He’s four, and he’s brilliant.  And right now he’s very ill.”

 

“Four?”  Harry’s brow furrowed.  “But… were you seeing someone else while you were seeing me?”

 

“No, Harry,” Draco said softly.  “There’s only been you.”

 

“Then how did you get a child?”

 

“Have you ever heard of male pregnancy?”

 

“No.” Harry ran a hand through his hair.  “Are you – is that – did you take some sort of potion, or…”

 

“No.  It’s apparently a magical trait that runs in my family, and requires a sire of great magical power.  I didn’t realize it was a possibility while we were together, until I became ill.”

 

“So it’s… I have…” Harry sank into a chair and stared at the floor.  “I have a son?”

 

“Yes.”

 

“You gave birth to him?”

 

“Via cesarean, yes.”

 

“You had a child.  _My child_.  And you never fucking _told_ me?”  Harry looked up, eyes ablaze.

 

“Why should I have told you?” Draco retorted.

 

“Oh, I don’t know - did you never think that the boy who never had a family might want one?  Someone related to him by blood?  Someone who would love him?” Harry shouted. 

 

“Funny, that - you didn’t seem to want _me_ to love you, though, did you?”

 

Harry stared at him, stunned.  “Did you?”

_Yes._ Draco looked away and swallowed.  “I… don’t know.  I liked you, I liked eating takeout in bed, talking about things we didn’t tell anyone else… is that love?  God, I don’t even know what love _is_!  I didn’t…” Draco imagined Dailen’s smiling face with a lump in his throat.  “I sure as fuck do now.   That boy is my entire life, Harry.  I’m sorry I kept him from you, but I was afraid you wouldn’t want him and I never wanted him to feel unwanted.”

 

“You thought I wouldn’t _want_ him?”

 

“Damn you, Harry, I tried to tell you the last night I saw you!  You stormed out on me because you thought I was trying to define our relationship – which I bloody well wasn’t but had every right to after all those months – after telling me you didn’t want any children.  Too busy fucking people and pissing away your life, if I remember correctly.”

 

Harry shook his head.  “I… I wasn’t prepared for anything serious, Draco.  The war was over, I didn’t even know what I wanted… I came to return the wand to you and we fell into bed.  I’d just realized I wanted to fuck men and I liked fucking _you_.  So I kept doing it, and I loved that I only had to answer to myself.  I cared for you, Draco.  Was I ready for some sort of declaration of love, or a commitment?  No, I will admit that I wasn’t.   But I wouldn’t have turned my back on my responsibilities.”

 

“Responsibilities? Guess what, Potter – we don’t want to be your responsibilities!” Draco spat the word as though it tasted bad.  “I had no one in the bloody world, Potter.  My parents were dead, most of my friends were dead and the ones that weren’t fucked off to Merlin knows where to escape Azkaban.  I moved away and I had to sell the Manor for a mere percentage of its worth to pay for a new place in a different country and find a discreet Healer to care for us.  My home, Harry – the place I grew up – is turned into some sort of wizarding hotel now.  But it gave me the money I needed to support us, pay my bills, and buy a little house.  I spent months huddled over the toilet and lost more than a stone because I couldn’t keep anything down.  I survived on nutrition potions most of the time, for the first few months.  Until everything started to swell – my face, my ankles, my hands – and then there were the backaches, constantly.  I couldn’t sleep.  I felt miserable.  And you know what?  I’d do it a thousand times over for him.  It wasn’t my responsibility, it was my fucking _pleasure_.  Because he’s mine, and I’m his, and we are all we need.”

 

Harry’s jaw tensed.  “Until now, right?”

 

Draco crossed his arms.  “Yes, until now.  Because even my pride, and my dread of having this very conversation, are unimportant in the face of his health or happiness.  He’s sick, Harry.  He has some sort of magical leak and he needs our help.  If not…” He stopped, unwilling to voice the words.

 

“So now what?” Harry asked, defeat in his voice.  “What do I need to do?”

 

“You’ll help us?  Help him?” Draco wanted to jump for joy.

 

“Draco, I’d help a child I didn’t know.  Of course I’ll help my own son – even if I wouldn’t know him if I saw him.”

 

“Thank you, Harry.  It’s going to require a family bond, the Healer calls it, which involves a magical transfer.”

 

“Whatever he needs.  Will I be gone more than a few hours?”

 

“The Healer said to expect a week in hospital.”

 

Harry sighed.  “All right.  Have I a few minutes to pack and send a note off to the Ministry?  They’ll need to be notified that I won’t be in for a fortnight.”

 

“Yes, but it’s just a week.”

 

“For the hospital, perhaps.  After that, I want to spend some time with my son.”  The set of his jaw dared Draco to argue.

 

“Fine.  Just, please… hurry.  And don’t… no one knows about us, and…”

 

“I won’t say anything about you, or about him.”

 

“Thank you.”

 

**XoXoXoX**

 

Draco’s back positively ached.

 

The baby was due any day, and the Healer had informed Draco that if labor didn’t begin over the weekend he was to report to the hospital Monday morning for the cesarean.  It was Saturday morning, and Draco was certain that Monday could not arrive quickly enough.

 

He was restless, too uncomfortable to sit still, and so he paced the cottage.  The kitchen was ready, with bottles freshly washed and ready to fill.  The nursery was prepared, decorated in blues and greens with teddy bears he’d chosen as soon as the Healer had confirmed what he already knew – he had a son on the way.  His own bedroom was prepared as well, with a small cot beside the bed for the early months.  Nappies and associated products were placed in various locations around the cottage, as the books Draco had read warned him that the child would require frequent changing.

 

“Are you ready to meet me, Dailen?” Draco murmured, running a hand over his distended belly.  “I’m sure ready to meet you.   I’m all practiced up at being awake all night, thanks to your antics, so you may as well come on out.  It will be easy, I promise – no pesky birth canal for you.  They’ll pull you right out of me, and it might be a little scary, but I’ll be right there.  Always.”

 

He settled himself in the nursery rocking chair.  “I’m going to try very, very hard to be all that you need.  I don’t know what I’m doing, so we’ll have to learn together… but I’ve read a lot of books and I think I’m ready to give it a shot.  I wish I could give you a second parent, but I just can’t.  He’s not… he’s not ready for this kind of life.  But I am, Dailen, my sweet boy.  I’m ready.  I’m ready to be your father, and to face anything we need to face.  We’re going to be a team, you and I.  Oh!”  Draco groaned as pain lanced through his lower abdomen.  “Stop that.  Daddy’s sore enough.”

 

Resting his head against the chair, Draco began to doze, when another pain shot through his belly and wrapped around him like a belt.  His back throbbed.  “Fuck,” he gasped.  “Are you trying to tell me something, love?  Are you on the way after all?”

 

Standing to pace once more, Draco began to count the minutes between the contractions, and after a few more he waddled to the bedroom to collect his suitcase.  “I can do this,” he whispered, and smiled when his son delivered a hard kick of encouragement.

 

**XoXoXoX**

 

“He’s gorgeous,” Harry breathed.  “He looks just like you, Draco.”

 

Draco smiled and brushed a wisp of hair from Dailen’s forehead.  “He has your eyes, and his hair might look like mine but it has your personality.”

 

“What is his name?”

 

“He’s Dailen James.”

 

“Dailen... James?” Harry stroked the boy’s hand with trembling fingers.  “Thank you, Draco.  Does he know about me?”

 

“He knows he has another father.  He asks about you sometimes, wants to know if you love him.”

 

“What do you tell him?”

 

“That you live very far away, and can’t be with us, but that you love him very much.”

 

“Thank you.” Harry’s breath hitched, and Draco was surprised to see tears on his cheeks.  “I do.  I can’t believe how much, considering I’ve known about him for less than an hour, but I would do anything for him.”

 

“I know the feeling.  They handed him to me for the first time once they’d lifted him out and healed the incision, and he was red and squalling, and I knew in that moment that I would die for him.”

 

“He’s so small.”

 

Draco chuckled.  “He’s huge.  He may still be a wisp of a thing, but I remember when he fit into the crook of my arm.”

 

“Right, yeah.” Harry looked terribly sad and Draco’s insides churned with guilt.

 

“Listen, Harry…”

 

“All right, we’re ready to begin.”  Healer O’Malley entered the room.  “As we’ve explained, once the spell begins, you will not be allowed to leave the room.  There’s a small loo through that door that you can access for bathing and other necessities, but it’s best if you keep those visits short as the proximity to Dailen is important to the success of the bond.”

 

“We understand,” Draco replied.  “We’re ready.”

 

“Are there any questions?”

 

“You said there will be fatigue – will there be any other effects from the bond?” Harry asked.

 

“No.  The family bond is generally only used in cases of illness, but it can be helpful in case of future illness.  You may be able to feel some discomfort through the bond if one of you is ill, which is useful when you have a child.  Mainly, it will help to ground his magic so that it can develop properly without overwhelming his body again.”

 

“And he will be all right when it’s over?  You’ve done this before?”

 

The Healer smiled at Harry.  “He will.  And I have.  His regular Healer referred his case to me because of my experience with this procedure.  As I mentioned, we will keep him under the sleeping spell until the bond is complete, as it will be far easier on him, and he needs the rest.  We’re doing the transfer over several days so that we won’t flood his system, or take too much from either of you at one time.”

 

Draco and Harry settled into the reclining chairs positioned on either side of Dailen’s bed and waited while the spell was cast.  Other than a slight tug at his magic, Draco felt nothing.  “Is it done?”

 

“It’s in place.  There are also monitoring spells in place.  You can move around the room as you please, but again, the closer you are to him, the more quickly and completely the bond will take.”

 

“Understood.”  Draco curled his fingers around Dailen’s.

 

The door snicked shut behind the Healer.  Draco glanced at Harry.

 

“So… here we are,” Harry said.

 

Draco rolled his eyes.  “How astute.”

 

“We’re going to be here for a week, just sitting here.  Don’t you think we need to talk?”

 

Draco exhaled.  “Look, I can’t apologize for doing what was right.  You left me wondering if I’d ever see you again after basically telling me I was nothing more than a talking hole to fuck.  I didn’t know what to do, but I knew that I wanted the baby.  So I left.”

 

Harry nodded.  “I do understand.  I hate that I missed so much of his life, but… I was immature then, Draco.  I hadn’t been given much opportunity to just be a kid.  I thought I deserved a chance to do as I pleased for once.  The irony was, I went to Australia and saw Ron and Hermione, settled already and planning careers.  They were even talking wedding ideas, and Hermione had some sort of 5-year plan for beginning a family… it was insane, but they were so _happy_.  And I missed you.”

 

“Oh?”

 

“I thought it was probably too soon to settle down completely, but seeing how well things were going for them made me realize that I was just spinning my wheels here with nowhere to go.  So… I decided I’d come home and patch things up with you – because I acted like an arse, and I knew it – and find some work.  Find some way to stay busy and actually be a productive member of society.”  Harry chuckled.

 

“So what do you do?  Did you become an Auror after all?”

 

“Yeah.”

 

“Ah.  And you like it?”

 

“Sometimes, I guess.  It wasn’t what I wanted, but it’s what I know how to do, and I feel like I’m still making a difference, at least.”

 

“I’m sure you are.”

 

“What about you?”

 

“What about me?”

 

Harry sighed.  “What do you do?”

 

“I write.”

 

“Really?”

 

“Yes.  I’d planned to do something with potions, but I couldn’t while I was pregnant.  So I sort of fell into writing.  But I use a pen name.”

 

“I see.” Harry chewed on his lower lip.  “Anything I’d have read?”

 

“No, I don’t write Quidditch adverts or captions for porn mags.”

 

“Thanks, Draco.”

 

Draco sighed.  “Sorry.  I don’t know if you’d have read anything of mine, but I write… well, mainly romance novels.”

 

“Oh yeah?  The sort with a half-naked man riding a horse on the cover?”

 

“No, Potter, the best-selling kind.  Gay romance.  I’m not terribly known among the Muggles, as my genre doesn’t seem to be so widely accepted with them, but in the wizarding world I’m doing very well.”

 

“What are they about?”

 

“Falling in love, mainly.  And lots of sex,” Draco smirked.  “My audience – primarily women, funnily enough – just love to hear about what we get up to in the bedroom.”

 

“Well, you’d be a good authority on that.” Harry flushed a little and looked away.  “I never would have expected you’d become a writer.  A romance writer, no less.”

 

“Because I have no interest in love?  Cold-hearted bastard that I am?”

 

“No!  Just… I don’t know.  How did you get into it?”

 

“I was pregnant and very hormonal.  I was about to become a father, I was living in a strange place, and I had no one to talk to.  So I started writing about it… my fears, my hopes for Dailen… all of it.  Then I started writing about how I imagined it could be if I had a partner to share it all with.  I read it over later and thought it was actually pretty good, so I turned it into a story.  Except in the book, the main characters are preparing to adopt a child… I was hoping to target at least some Muggles to expand my readership and male pregnancy probably wouldn’t fly there, even in fiction.”

 

“I see.”  Harry swallowed.  “I imagine it was lonely, the pregnancy.”

 

“Yes.”

 

“I would have stayed, Draco.”

 

“Perhaps, but only out of duty.”

 

“That’s not…” Harry shook his head.  “Never mind.”

 

They fell silent after that, and Draco forced himself to focus on the rise and fall of Dailen’s small chest rather than the feelings that were beginning to reawaken in his own.

 

**XoXoXoX**

 

Draco’s head was still sort of hazy, but he focused on the wailing child that was being swaddled beside him while the healing spells were cast to close his incision.  His son had arrived.

_His son_.

 

He’d known he was having a son, had been calling him by name for months.  And yet, now that he was here, it was all brand new and Draco was desperate to hold him, cradle him, and kiss the tiny lips releasing all that noise.  Count the little fingers and toes, and inspect the feet that had been kicking him so insistently for months. 

 

“Here you are, Mr. Malfoy.”  A mediwitch smiled and handed the little bundle that was Dailen to him, and his breath hitched as he beheld his child for the first time.

 

“Dailen,” he whispered.  “My boy… my sweet, sweet baby.”

 

Dailen’s cries turned to whimpers, and he studied Draco with slightly unfocused but alert eyes.  He was still red and a bit squashed-looking, but Draco knew there would never be a more beautiful sight.  And there was no way any human had ever loved anyone or anything with the ferocity Draco loved this tiny child.

 

“We’re going to do this,” Draco told him, tears beginning to fall.  “You and me against the world, my boy.”

 

**XoXoXoX**

 

“Why Ireland?” Harry asked.

 

It was the third night.  Draco was beginning to feel the fatigue they’d been warned of, and he was anxious to see Dailen’s eyes open again.  “I don’t know, really.  I’d always wanted to come here, but we usually went to France for holidays.  The war didn’t have much of an effect here and no one knew who I was.  I was able to find a home quickly, and a Healer who specializes in male pregnancies.  It fell into place quickly and I guess I just felt as though it was meant to be, for me to start over here.”

 

“And you like it here?”

 

“I do.  I still don’t know a lot of people, but that’s my choice.  I live on the outskirts of the closest magical colony here, and Dailen goes to a wizarding primary school for preschool.  He’s doing well.”

 

“He’s clever, then?”

 

“Of course he is!” Draco replied indignantly. 

 

“I’m sorry, I just… I don’t know how to… to _do_ this.”

 

Draco closed his eyes, weariness settling over him.  “No, you wouldn’t.  I have to keep reminding myself that this is a challenge for you as well.”

 

“I’ve missed so much,” Harry said softly, gazing at Dailen’s peaceful face.  “First words, first steps… and the pregnancy itself.  I would have liked to take care of you, Draco.”

 

“I’d have liked someone to take care of me.”  Draco shrugged.  “But I took care of myself.”

 

“You’ve done so well.  I’m… I’m sorry you felt you couldn’t tell me.  I’m sorry I made you feel you had no one.”

 

“I didn’t have anyone, with or without you.  I have regrets too, you know.  There were times when I thought I would crack, when I didn’t know what I was doing… and I envied every parent out there who has a partner to help them.  Even if it’s just company on the path to insanity,” Draco chuckled.  “And I did think about you, often.  I don’t know if I did the right thing, but at the time, with everything you’d said to me, I felt it was the only way.”

 

“I’m so –“

 

“Stop, Harry.  What’s done is done.  Now… now you know about him, and we’ll have to figure it out.”

 

“Yes, we will.  Because I intend to be a part of his life.”  Determination flashed in his eyes, and made Draco’s gut churn with fear.  He was terrified Harry would pursue custody, and Draco didn’t think he could handle that.

 

“We’ll figure it out,” he repeated.

 

**XoXoXoX**

 

“Please, _please_ stop crying,” Draco begged, bouncing Dailen as he paced the nursery floor.

 

Colic was a punishment sent from the devil himself, and Draco was paying the price for every wrong he’d ever done.

 

The standard potions and tricks suggested by the Healer and the books Draco had read were doing nothing.  Every night, for hours on end, Dailen would scream and scream, and Draco would cry right along with him, wishing he could run away and hide, just for an hour.

 

“Love, I’m so sorry your belly hurts… Daddy would take the pain for you if he could,” Draco told him, switching him to the other shoulder. 

 

Dailen wailed on, and Draco wept.

 

**XoXoXoX**

 

“Are you dating anyone?”

 

Draco blinked.  The spell was due to end in a few hours, and Draco was half asleep when Harry spoke. 

 

“Dating?  Why would I be dating?”

 

Harry’s brow furrowed.  “Well… why not?  You’re still bloody fit, you know.”

 

Draco’s cheeks pinked.  “Er… thanks, but no.  I’ve got no time in my life.”

 

“No time?”

 

“Look, it’s hard enough finding a bloke nearby who shares my… preferences.  This is a small town and it’s mainly elderly people and young couples.  But I have Dailen to think about, and I haven’t met anyone who was worth introducing to him.  If I bring someone into his life, the man had damn well be ready to stay.  And there just isn’t anyone I want for the long haul.”

 

“Oh.  That’s good – that you, you know, think of Dailen first.”

 

“I always do.”

 

“I can tell.”

 

It was silent for a moment before Harry spoke again.

 

“Me either.”

 

“You either what?”

 

“I’m not seeing anyone, either.  In case you were wondering.”

 

“I didn’t ask.”

 

“Oh.”

 

Draco had to look away to hide the smile forming on his lips.

 

**XoX**

 

Healer O’Malley arrived right on time to end the transfer, and once the connection was gone he could feel its loss, even though he’d barely felt its presence.  However, he still felt something on the edges…a sort of awareness of Harry and Dailen that he hadn’t felt before.

 

“He’ll be waking up momentarily.  The monitoring spells show that his core is intact and strong, and he should be right as rain.  I’ll come back to check him over myself in a bit, but I’ll leave you for now.  I imagine you’re anxious to see him awake.”

 

“Very.  Thank you, Healer O’Malley.” Draco perched on the side of the bed and watched as Dailen’s little nose scrunched and his eyelids fluttered open.  “Hi, baby,” he murmured.

 

“Daddy?” Dailen yawned.  “Is it time for school?”

 

Draco laughed.  “No, love.  Do you remember being ill?”

 

“I think… I think I falled over during art.”

 

“You did, yes.  But now you’re all better.”

 

“Can I have a snack?” Dailen asked hopefully.

 

“Of course.  Healer O’Malley’s going to be in to look you over, and then I think we can go home.”

 

“Daddy… who’s that man?” Dailen whispered.

 

Draco took a deep breath.  “That’s… your other father.”  He looked back at Harry, who was hovering near the foot of the bed with a nauseated expression on his face, and motioned him closer.

 

Harry took a few steps forward and cleared his throat.  “Hi, Dailen.”

 

“You came!” Dailen breathed.

 

“Yes, I… your daddy told me you were poorly, so I came right away.”

 

“You never came before.  You missed my birthday.”

 

Harry blinked at the accusing tone.  “I’m really sorry, Dailen.  I was far away.” He glanced at Draco, who nodded.  “But I promise I won’t miss another birthday.”

 

“Are you going to live with us now?” His face shone with hope.  “Daddy gets lonely when I’m at school, and I don’t have a mummy, you see.  And Bryson has two daddies, too, but both of them live at his house.”

 

“I…”

 

Draco rescued an obviously distressed Harry.  “He’s going to stay with us for a few days.  And we’ll see what happens, all right?”

 

“Okay.” Dailen studied Harry, with eyes so like his own, and reached out a hand.  “Can I call you Daddy, too?”

 

“Yes.” Harry’s voice was hoarse.  “Whatever you like.”

 

**XoX**

 

“I can’t believe how much energy he has.  I mean, I’ve been around small children enough at the Burrow, but considering what he went through…”

 

Draco laughed at the sight of Harry slumped on the sofa.  “That was nothing, trust me.  And remember, we’re still replenishing from the transfer, so we’re not as up to chasing a little one as we might normally be.”

 

“He’s amazing, Draco.” Harry shook his head.  “He’s so clever.”

 

“Told you.”

 

Harry chuckled.  “I know.  He’s… you’ve done a brilliant job raising him.  I can’t wait to introduce him to the Weasleys – he’ll love the other kids.”

 

Draco stiffened.  “His home is here.”

 

“I know, Draco, but surely you can’t expect me to –“

 

“His home is here!” Draco clenched his hands into fists.  “I won’t have you coming in and trying to take him from me.”

 

“Draco!” Harry reached for Draco’s hands and uncurled the fingers.  “I never would.  But I need… I need him.  And I need you.”

 

“What?  Me?”

 

“I know this is his home, and I would never expect you to change that.  But I would like him to meet my family.  And I know you won’t trust me taking him on my own, not yet, so I was hoping you would bring him.  This summer, perhaps, for a few weeks.”

 

“Oh.”  The knot in Draco’s belly began to unravel at the assurance that Harry only wanted Dailen to come for a visit, and with Draco’s supervision.

_That’s the only reason he needs me._

 

**XoX**

 

“Daddy!” Dailen shrieked.  “Look – three ants!  They’re right there, all in a row!”

 

Draco watched fondly as Harry followed Dailen across the yard to witness the miraculous ant lineup.  The week had been rather pleasant – Harry and Dailen were bonding nicely, and it was a bittersweet glimpse into the way things could have been, had Draco made different choices.

 

Had everything happened a little later, perhaps, when Harry was ready.

 

Harry was due to Portkey home in the morning, and as Draco watched the sun begin to dip low in the sky he worried.  Dailen was firmly attached to his other father now, and like a sponge he soaked up every bit of Harry’s love, which shone from the man’s very being every time he turned adoring eyes on his son.  Separating the two was not going to be pleasant.

 

Separating himself from Harry would also not be pleasant, not when he’d so quickly grown accustomed to having the man around. Not when Harry had reached for Draco’s hand and held it the night before while they watched Dailen curl up with his stuffed dragon and fall asleep.  Not when he’d caught Harry watching him over dinner in a way that was both familiar and brand new.

 

Draco exhaled, watching Dailen tackle Harry to the ground, laughing hysterically.

 

**XoX**

 

“We need to talk.”

 

Draco nodded mutely and gestured to the spot beside him on the sofa.

 

Harry sat and rested his forearms on his knees.  “When I came back and saw you were gone, I was miserable, Draco.  I was a bastard to you.  I know that.  I was selfish, and… I didn’t deserve your time.”

 

“It wasn’t all bad, Harry.”  Draco reached out and laid a tentative hand on Harry’s shoulder.  “We really did have a good thing, for quite a while.”

 

“But you weren’t happy, were you?”

 

“Mmm, sometimes yes, sometimes no.  You were a lot of fun and you were great in bed.  You treated me well most of the time.  Except… I wanted you to take me out.  I needed to know that I wasn’t alone in feeling like we were more than just fuck buddies.  And when I tried to tell you that, you blew it off.  And I started to feel like you were ashamed of me.”

 

“Oh, Draco…” Harry buried his face in his hands.  “I wasn’t, but I _was_ desperate to keep you to myself.  Away from the _Prophet_ and from all the people who seemed to think they had a right to a piece of me.  You made me happy and I didn’t want to hear about you being a mistake, and how they all thought I should live my life… again, I was selfish, and I was messed up.  I wasn’t fit to be with anyone, and I should have walked away before we even started anything.  Then, maybe I could have come back when I had my head together, and we could have done it right.  If you still wanted me.”

 

“Maybe.  But then I wouldn’t have Dailen, so I can’t regret anything that happened.”

 

“Yes.” Harry wiped his eyes with the back of his hand.  “I need to give you something.”  He stood and pulled a small parcel from his pocket, then enlarged it with his wand.  “I brought these.”

 

“Letters?”

 

Harry handed over the stack of envelopes tied with string.  “Yeah.  You see… I came home from Australia determined to quit being a prick and make something of myself.  Thought maybe ‘commitment’ wasn’t the dirty word I’d imagined it to be after all.  And I came to see you first, but the wards wouldn’t allow me onto the property.  So I figured you were pretty brassed off about our fight, and I came home and wrote you that first letter, asking you to let me come and see you.  Then… I found out you’d sold the Manor, and you were gone.  Every one of the letters came back because the owls couldn’t find you.”

 

Draco stared at the wrinkled envelopes.  “I had no need for correspondence, and I didn’t want to be found.”

 

“I figured.  But I kept writing anyway, in hopes one might get through.  I don’t blame you for leaving, Draco.  I wish you hadn’t, but it was my own selfish attitude that left you feeling like you had no choice.  But I’m here now, and I love that little boy so m-much.”  Harry took a shuddering breath.  “And you, Draco… you still move me the way you always did.  Except that watching you with Dailen moves me even more.  I see you smile at him and I want to kiss you until you smile at me with that much love, and then I want to take you to bed and work on a sibling for Dailen so that I can _be_ there this time and show you that I’ve grown up, and that I want to take care of my family so bloody much it hurts.”

 

“Harry…” Draco was trembling.

 

“Read them.  Please.  I’m not a man of intelligence and pretty words, but I am a man who let the best damn thing walk out of his life five years ago and didn’t realize what he had until he lost it.” 

 

Draco watched Harry leave the room and heard his door close down the hall.  Dazed, he untied the string and opened the first envelope.

 

**XoX**

_Draco,_

_Please let me come and see you.  I came by today and you’ve changed the wards.  Well done.  I will admit that I probably deserved that, but I would like to try and make it right.  Perhaps I was too hasty when I said I didn’t want a committed relationship.  The truth is, I haven’t been out with anyone else since I started seeing you, and I really don’t want to.  I may not be ready for wedding bells and a picket fence, but it’s not so far-fetched to imagine sharing them with you down the road.  Please, write back and tell me you’ll let me apologize in person._

_Harry_

_~_

_Draco,_

_Where are you?  You told me you’d never sell the Manor, and yet I discovered today that you did just that, just days after I saw you last.  I know you needed money, and I would have helped you!  I thought you’d be too proud to take it if I offered.  What can I do?  What do you need?_

_Come home, Draco.  Please come home.  I’ll make things right._

_Harry_

_~_

_Draco,_

_I miss you so fucking much.  Why did you leave the way you did?  I know I messed up.  I know you deserve better.  But I can’t try if you won’t let me.  Why are my letters coming back?_

_I’ve got a job now.  Just started Auror training.  I’m not a complete waste of skin anymore.  I’m thinking about the future.  I can support us both, Draco.  I can give you anything you need.  The only thing I need is you.  I wish I hadn’t been so bloody stupid and blind because I’ve driven you away._

_Harry_

_~_

_Draco,_

_I love you, all right?   I never said it before.  I don’t even know if I realized.  But I don’t know what I will do if all my memories of you fade.  Your face, smiling at something stupid I’ve said, and your laugh when I tickle your inner thighs with my tongue, and the way you feel curled around me after we’ve made love, and your snark and sarcasm… I miss you, all of you.  Come home, Draco._

_Harry_

_~_

_Draco,_

_If this letter doesn’t get through I will not write another.  You have been gone for a year, and I suppose it’s time to accept the fact that I’ve ruined the best relationship I’ll ever have – because I can’t imagine finding anyone who fits me as well as you.  I’m sorry.  I can’t do anything but move on with my life, but I wish I knew you were all right, if nothing else.  I hope I haven’t damaged your heart so much that you can’t find happiness with someone else.  I didn’t know, years ago, what a good person you truly are.  You may have been a stuck-up arse when you were eleven, but you grew into one of the finest people I’ve ever met and I’m proud to have known you.  Proud, and disgusted with myself for not showing you how I felt when I had the chance.  If you won’t come back to me, then please just be happy.  You’ve lost so much, but you still have so much to give._

_Love,_

_Harry_

**_XoX_ **

 

Draco stared at the final letter in disbelief.  All that time… Harry had loved him.

 

And Harry cared about him still.

 

Draco dropped the letters on the sofa table and approached Harry’s room quietly.  He opened the door far enough to see Harry awake and staring at the wall, profile illuminated by the bedside lamp.  Closing the door behind him, he cleared his throat.

 

“Draco.”  Harry sat up and fumbled for his glasses.

 

“It’s been five years, Harry.  And all I’ve done is tell myself you didn’t really want us.”

 

“I didn’t know, Draco, I-“

 

“I know.  But that way, it didn’t hurt so much.  If I just replayed our last conversation in my head one more time, I could tell myself I was doing the right thing.  Because I never knew whether or not I was.”

 

“You protected him.  And you were right… I would have gone a little mental.  I can’t imagine it any other way, when I didn’t really know about male pregnancy and didn’t want any more responsibilities.  And I know you hate that word, Draco, but doing what was right doesn’t mean I wouldn’t have loved him, or wouldn’t have been happy to be with you.”

 

“But now we’ll never know.”

 

Harry gave him a sad smile.  “I guess not.”

 

“But…” Draco approached the bed slowly.  “We still have the future, don’t we?”

 

Harry’s breath caught.  “Do we?”

 

“Your letters… they were beautiful.  It’s all I ever wanted to hear.  I just wanted to know that I mattered to you.” Draco climbed onto Harry’s lap, straddling his legs. 

 

Harry curled his hands around Draco’s hips.  “Even when I was too stupid to know it, you mattered to me, Draco.  You helped me heal.  You were there when I felt alone and unfocused after the war.”

 

“I’ve missed you,” Draco whispered.  He ran his palms across Harry’s bare chest. 

 

Harry wound his arms around Draco and held tight when Draco returned the embrace.  “I’ve missed you, too.  More than I can ever express.”

 

“Kiss me?”

 

Harry groaned and threaded his fingers through Draco’s hair, pulling his head down to devour his mouth.  He thrust his erection upward to brush against Draco’s.

 

Draco fumbled for his wand, breaking the kiss long enough to spell their clothes away, and reattached his lips to Harry’s.  Fingers circled his cock, bringing it flush with Harry’s, and as he rolled his hips to increase the friction he concentrated on the delicious things Harry’s tongue was doing in his mouth.  Other than one clumsy blow job, he hadn’t been touched by anyone other than himself since Dailen was born, and his body responded to Harry as eagerly as it always had.

 

“Draco,” Harry panted.  “My _God_ , you’re dripping like a faucet.”

 

“Been a long time,” Draco managed.  “And it’s about to get a lot more wet.”

 

“Come for me,” Harry urged.  “All over me.”

 

Draco threw his head back and stifled a cry, realizing he’d forgotten a silencing spell.  He had no desire to have any uncomfortable conversations with his son, but he nearly bit straight through his lip to contain his reaction as the ball of heat in his belly uncurled and sizzled through his veins.  He reached for their cocks, wrapping his hand around them alongside Harry’s, and thrust upward as his balls began to empty.  Warm streams landed on his hand and abdomen, and clouded as his vision was he watched Harry stuff his fist halfway into his mouth to quiet his own release.

 

They stayed as they were for several long minutes, arms wrapped around one another and chests heaving.  Draco finally climbed off of Harry, only to be pulled down beside him.  “Not letting you go this time,” Harry murmured.  “Not tonight, not tomorrow, not ever again.”

 

Draco smiled, and vaguely registered a Cleaning Charm tingling over his skin as he drifted off to sleep.

 

**XoX**

 

“Daddy?”

 

Draco opened one eye to see his son peering at him.  “Hi, baby.”

 

“Why are you sleeping in here?”

 

Draco awakened more fully at that and scrambled to pull the covers up to his chin.  Harry grumbled beside him.  “Because… Daddy was lonely.  So I was keeping him company.”

 

“Where are your pajamas?”

 

“I, er…”

 

“Dailen, what do you say to pancakes for breakfast?”

 

Dailen’s eyes lit up, and Draco shot Harry a grateful glance.  “Really?”

 

“You bet.”  Harry yawned.  “What shall we do today?  No school today, right?”

 

“No, but… aren’t you going away again?” Dailen’s lower lip began to tremble.  “You said you had to go back to your home, and…”

 

Draco took a deep breath and pulled Dailen onto the bed for a hug.  “Well, how would you like to take a trip?  We can go along and…” he trailed off.  He loved his home, his cottage.  The place where he’d nested and written his books and begun to raise his son.  But his son needed both of his fathers, and Draco wasn’t willing to lose Harry now that he’d come back into his life.  “We can go and find a new –“

 

“Trunk!” Harry supplied.  “You see, I need to pack my things, and I don’t have enough trunks.”

 

“Why do you need to pack?” Dailen asked.

 

“Well, you see, I have a little boy who I’ve just gotten to know, and I don’t want to be far away anymore.  So if it’s okay with you…”

 

“You’re coming to live with us?” Dailen cried.  He leaped from Draco’s lap to Harry’s and wound his arms around Harry’s neck.  “ _Thank_ you, Daddy.”

 

“I can find a place in the area,” Harry said softly.  “I’m not trying to presume…”

 

“You’re not.  We want you here, with us.  But you’re certain you’re willing to give everything up?”

 

“What, a job I don’t love that I can do anywhere?  They probably need Aurors here as well.”

 

“Yes, in case Mrs. Healy’s cow goes missing again,” Draco replied dryly.

 

“See?  A hotbed of crime, this town.  It doesn’t matter what sort of work I do.  Draco, my son is here, and you’re here.  I know how much your home and everything you’ve built here means to you.  I told you I’d never ask you to leave it, and I’m not going to give either of you up.  You’ve already had to leave your home on my account once.   Never again.”

 

“But your family…”

 

“We can visit.  _You_ are my family.”  Harry kissed Dailen’s temple.  “I love you.  Both of you.”

 

Draco wrapped his arms around Harry and Dailen and smiled, heart full.  “Welcome home, Harry.”

 

“And don’t worry, Daddy,” Dailen added.  “I’ll make sure you pack your pajamas.”

 

**~**

****

_Settle down, it’ll all be clear_

_Don’t pay no mind to the demons,_

_they fill you with fear_

_The trouble, it might drag you down_

_If you get lost, you can always be found_

_Just know you’re not alone…_

_I’m going to make this place your home._

_~fin~_

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